


Stories about doctors

by Straj



Category: Doctor Strange (Comics), Doctor Who, Quantum Leap, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-05-17 20:24:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 41
Words: 11,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5884231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Straj/pseuds/Straj
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All the doctors, existing in different series, are sent to a new journey with a completely impossible structure of the satellites.<br/>And they get where the writer is not chasing them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Yasi you're a Goy knight overseas!  
Knight overseas, Doctor Who!  
You sit down in the booth blue,  
Blue box called the TARDIS  
You fly to a planet far,  
And fight with men of steel,  
And buckets made of iron.

Yes said then knight English  
\- Goy Yasi good people, I'm going  
Somewhere. But on a distant planet  
I'm not going to fly. And I will go   
On a journey far,  
Travel far and distant.

And he came in the booth blue  
And disappeared out of sight...  
Where the Doctor went  
It is unknown,  
Even the author, and readers  
And even more so.


	2. Save us, Doctor!

I Am The Doctor! Doctor Who!  
I go to a brown coat.  
Through space and time  
I travel!  
This is my destiny!

Doctor Who!  
Doctor Who!  
Save me!  
Rose! Hold on!  
I'll save you  
From The Daleks!  
I'm doctor Who!

I am the alien!  
And I have two hearts!  
But I find your kind words  
For all who are with me!  
And after the adventure  
Send them home!

Doctor Who!  
Doctor Who!  
Save me!  
Donna! Hold on!  
I'll save you  
From The Yeti!  
I'm Doctor Who!

I have the TARDIS and sonic screwdriver,  
I managed very cleverly.  
I wish that the world was good,  
And the Earth did not visit universal evil.  
I help you all ready,  
To save the world from the Daleks.

Doctor Who!  
Doctor Who!  
Save me!  
\- Calling Earth!  
Hang In There, Rose!  
Hang In There, Donna!  
Hold On, Earth!  
I'll save you  
From The Angels!  
From The Yeti!  
From The Daleks!  
From everything!  
I'm Doctor Who!


	3. Dialogs.

Late one evening,  
Under the double box,  
Gathered all the doctors.  
\- Have worked on glory, and it's time  
Drink two liters of alcohol.  
\- Maybe three liters,  
In the fridge take.  
\- Don't forget you Valerian...  
\- Beyond, and not booze?  
\- Aspirin as munchie food  
Stronger will be our sweet dream.  
Cheers, the speech will start,  
And then we go home.

First the doctor.

\- As I SIP the alcohol, guys  
Everything carries me somewhere.  
We fly, we fight,  
And the name does not respond.   
The doctor here and doctor there,  
Here's how punch mustache.  
You know, fly...  
The Cybermen, Daleks, Yeti –  
Hard for me to live in the world!  
Donna, Rose, The Master  
It is time for me to skedaddle.  
Rolls - bumblebees and scarves...  
Well, my scary dreams...

Second doctor.

\- I drank two cups,  
To make the story go.  
Here maniacs, murderers there,  
Where the police looks?  
Valerian is drunk as juice,  
The world around me is cruel!  
Sherlock Holmes is such a whore!  
It does not give me to eat!  
It does not give me sleep!  
Up and running:  
\- "You hold on! I'll help!"  
He is unsociable, lonely  
But in investigations – God!  
All shall find,  
All he knows!

The third doctor

\- I sit, I sit,  
And drug find  
Yes, I'm cynical, angry, rude,   
Instead of patients and sometimes see the dead body!  
I am stubborn, a pain in my hip,  
I'll play with yo-yo,  
"People lie" – the diagnosis is accurate.  
But I'm not fooled!  
With the rat I will play,  
Marshmallow bunnies keep chewing  
And in General I'm a polyglot  
\- Your feet in your mouth!

The fourth doctor

\- I lived on a farm  
In the distant childhood,  
But abilities was  
Rife,  
And here I am now  
Not fish not meat,  
And only to go to heaven.  
Why am I up?  
Why I wanted  
To go back in time?  
I've done things.  
Stuck.  
Not in the future no  
Me.  
Not in the past...  
And in the present...  
I'm a nobody!  
Pour a glass,  
I'll get drunk in the shit!

The fifth doctor

I fly in space,  
And samples collected.  
Captain we're in trouble  
Not the same opinion always.  
Called me a "bone-setter"  
Perhaps he's right.  
"He is dead, Jim! "- My phrase,  
I'm sick of it... day by day.  
Again, the swearing...  
Plug its ears with cotton wool!!!!

Sixth doctor

I love you!  
I love you beyond measure,  
And ready to eat,  
Raw? Probably.   
I want to dismember all of you,  
Do not lift me.  
Here zakuson -  
The liver, kidneys,  
With gut fat leaves,  
Heart sauce,  
The tripe... podkoptit.  
Eat  
Gain strength.  
Morgue – my Kingdom.  
The hospital as a Paradise.  
So many patients,  
All choose!  
Live...  
I'll do the honors  
Gentlemen,  
Are you  
Good food!

The seventh doctor

I was a surgeon from God,  
But turned the wrong way in my way!  
Had an accident one day I  
And I turned over my destiny.  
I went in the way,  
So healing to find,  
In Tibet seven years I studied,  
Then let the world save from evil.  
I am fair,  
But the world is cruel,  
And it seems to be time.  
Master of magic I science...

\- We'll have a drink for you, our friend!  
For all doctors in the world,  
We drink four quarts!

Long live peace!  
Medicine and alcohol!  
Friday and the doctor.  
YAY! YAY! YAY!


	4. Brunette with a tattoo of a rose.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Rose Tattoo" - Dropkick Murphys   
> Inspired

\- I regenerated! – cried the Eleventh Doctor, but in the mirror he saw yet face the Tenth - then I for some reason came back? Weird. 

But then the TARDIS landed softly on something. 

Tenth looked out the door.

Stretched a swamp. A very large swamp. The swamp grew around the black curves of the trees and sickly yellow grass. Above the swamp I came to a gloomy sky with purple clouds.

The tenth has listened and heard distant voices.  
\- Where am I landed? – muttered the Tenth, - is something I don't remember this area.

But suddenly something whizzed over the Doctor's head. There was a deafening explosion and the TARDIS doused with stinking greenish mud.  
\- Phew! - The doctor hastily shut the door, but then still opened, because he saw that about the TARDIS someone is lying.   
Came out and dragged an unfamiliar body inside. Upon closer examination it turned out to be slender brunette of eighteen in tiny leather shorts and the same tank top. Under the topic could see a once white blouse. On the waistband of the shorts hung Doctor strange shotgun – all curved and smooth. On the smooth tanned skin of the left forearm could be seen a beautiful tattoo of a rose. Beautiful white rose.

\- Who are you? the Doctor asked, leading the girl into the feeling.  
\- I...- the girl grabbed it for a weapon - my name is - Screw.  
\- I – Doctor Who,- the Tenth were presented.  
\- I have to get across the swamp to help my friends! – exhaled Screw, - will you help me?  
\- Of course,- smiled the Tenth, - what do I do?

Dirty and smelly when the TARDIS landed on the other end of the swamp, the Doctor opened the door and on the threshold appeared a black-haired boy about fifteen years old in black trousers and a blue blouse. Thin and flexible like a willow tree. In his hands he held a tiny little yellow duck with big blue eyes.  
\- My name is Fakir, - said guy, - and this is Ahiru, - and he pointed to the duck.  
\- Honk! – awkwardly grunted Ahiru.   
\- I "Doctor," the Tenth smiled, - what are we gonna do?  
\- And now, we go to the nearest village. On foot.

The doctor threw the TARDIS branches and set off with the Fakir and Screw to the nearest settlements.

The village was definitely abandoned. Screw went to the only surviving home and called the doctor and the Fakir.  
\- What's happened? asked the Tenth, sitting on a bunch of hay.  
\- We were attacked, said Screw, - they came through the swamp, not even through the swamp and from the swamp. We don't know who they are, but they destroy everyone and everything. And then there he was - Skriv jerked his head toward the Fakir, he said that he started to write a story, and the story live its own life.  
\- I know that I can breathe in fairy tales, but now I can't write, because now the tale writes itself. – Said The Fakir.  
\- I will help you, - is what inspired the Doctor and smiled.  
\- We found the point x, - Skriv walked over to the broken window, - it's a swamp. Point x is located exactly in the middle on distance of fifteen metres deep.  
\- So let's go back to the TARDIS! – cried the Doctor.  
\- What happened?  
\- No problem.

They were transported to the point x. It was large round room with a large table, behind which sat a lanky robot and drove a black feather on black sheets.  
-Hey! This is my story?! – Fakir screamed and lunged at the robot, but received a jolt of electricity to the chest, collapsed.  
\- Honk! QUACK! QUACK!!! – Ahiru and dived at the robot, abundantly negativ on black leaves.  
\- I'll kill you! - and Screw, after removing the belt its unusual weapon, aimed at the robot and fired. A white BLOB was from the robot and began to rush around the room until he exploded, leaving the wall black ragged hole, through which the room began to seep through the swamp.  
\- I can do that. – The doctor pointed at the robot sonic screwdriver, but she did not bring the desired result.

Due to the mud they had to evacuate to the TARDIS; and they saw that the dirt was short-circuited robot and it exploded. 

The TARDIS stood quietly on a dry meadow in the woods. The tenth was cleaning the booth and talked to his companions.  
\- Now you can write the next tale, ' said the Tenth Fakir.  
\- I think I will be much better - the Fakir smiled, - Yes, and maybe in my travels I can find a way to disenchant Ahiru.  
\- I'll stay here, muttered Scriv, - I in this world – the big bad wolf.

\- Where you going? - the Doctor asked the Fakir.  
\- Anywhere you want, Doctor, - he replied.  
\- Honk! – fun supported Ahiru.


	5. Quanta, Kilts, Spears

\- So. Where am I? Feet? On the spot. Hands? Here. The fingers in place. Let us touch, let us touch. UV. I'm a man! Thank God for that! Now I need to clarify — where am I and who am I?  
\- Doctor! The TARDIS falls!  
\- I that Doctor Who got? But it doesn't exist? How so?

BAM

-Doctor, don't die! - Sam opened his eyes.  
He was shaking by the shoulders, dark-haired girl in a black jacket.  
\- Where are we? — asked Sam.  
\- Doctor, are you all right? — suspiciously asked the girl. — You hit your head?  
\- I must strike? — puzzled asked Sam, looking back and looking around. So, he lay in the tall grass in the brown suit. On one side stood a blue box. On the other — was the plain on which the battle was in full swing.  
\- Let's go, Doctor, - said the frightened girl, - I'm not sure we'll be able to hide.  
\- It seems that we will not be able to escape, - said Sam, rising to his feet and nodding at the two groups that separated from the main mass of the fighting, heading towards them.

One of the groups consisted of citizens, dressed in red coats, the second sported a strong hairy calves peeking out from under plaid skirts. Both groups were determined. But when they saw each other and immediately engaged in a fierce fight, forgetting about the purpose of his campaign.

Because of all this, Sam and unknown girl deigned to see three people out of thirty that went up the hill.  
\- The British?  
\- The Americans! — cheerfully replied Sam, - and you, I see the Scots!  
\- Duncan McCloud, Connor McCloud, - said two, and the third shyly poked the toe of his boot to the ground and my head up.  
\- Are you brothers? — asked Sam. — What year is this?  
\- April 16, 1746, from the birth of Christ.  
\- The famous battle at Culloden! — cried Sam — I understand now. I have to help you win!  
\- We saw this booth! - said first Macleod, Connor. - The first booth took one of Piper, the second brought our friend, - and the Scot nodded at his silent, — you third.  
\- And what should I do?  
\- Take your buddy.  
\- Okay, - Sam replied and said silent Scot. — Come with me. I'll get you home.  
\- I'm almost at home, - said he, — my name means — fair-haired Scot! But I would love to come back home. Under her skirt is blowing, the boots rubbed his feet, beard growing. It is impossible to wash...  
\- Well, well, - Sam spent an unexpected companion in the TARDIS, followed the girl went. And two brother Scot turned to join his comrades on the field.

But then a shot rang out.

Sam felt the pain in the chest and fell.

But then he rose stupidly and looked at his hands. On hand shone the ring, face covered by the beard.  
\- Miss Conchita Vyurst ? Are you hurt? - think about the guards.  
\- "I'm a woman? I moved into a woman?" - thought Sam and lost consciousness.


	6. Regeneration Of Doctors 1-4

The first Doctor was old  
Something he forgot.  
Hemmed.  
The ladies name was: - My child!  
He fought jokingly.  
But was picky and dare.  
And for Breakfast eat oatmeal.  
Was his heart  
One. Was a scientist.  
Ten companions he had,  
But the second embodiment, except for two, all forgot  
He met the Cybermen again  
Regenerates immediately.  
And the Second was a cunning type,  
Schemer, battered by time.  
But he did not bend under the burden.  
The wolf in sheep's clothing.  
Repeated this Doc  
— "Aunt mercy." - where could.  
He Scot made friends  
The one in Victoria fell in love,  
And then Zoey got  
The Third era began.  
The third Doctor was a suave,  
A little ugly,  
He's cute.  
Always in a strand shirt  
In a velvet tuxedo,  
In the cloak...  
Well, finally can.  
However, subtle diplomat.  
All he companions so glad.  
His three companions he had.  
Most have forgotten it.  
Told this old fart,  
Indignation blazing  
\- Now, listen to me!  
And and so day by day.  
After with spiders it worked  
Heart attack earned  
And here  
The Fourth era is coming.  
Doctor Who wore a scarf.  
A two-meter long  
In baggy trousers and frock coat.  
Eccentric and a humorist.  
Talented and smart.  
Gummi bears he loved  
And all it gave.  
— Why?  
Its eight satellites  
Were very personal.  
Roboshobo, Adric, Nyssa.  
In different fanfiction joined.  
With telescope snapped the poor man,  
And merged with the soul of the fifth.

The chain of reincarnations  
Kṛṣṇa said.  
Everything is relative in the world.


	7. Regeneration Of Of Doctors. 5 - 7

Fifth Doctor of humane  
And vulnerable people,  
He was serious about  
To the satellites.  
There is a Doctor in a frock coat, cream-colored,  
And in his buttonhole he had a branch of celery.  
Striped trousers, cricket ball in his pocket.  
Panama on his head.  
It will be a little younger  
Versions previous.  
The diplomat excellent.  
But violence this doctor  
Awfully was indifferent.  
Not once cried in complete happiness  
— Brilliant!  
The doctor in the caves Androzani  
Heralded era of the Sixth.  
And the sixth was selfish,  
Irritable though.  
Fickle and sinister  
He avoided many of the meetings.  
Like a clown in bright colors.  
But it's only a mask  
And under it is very sensitive  
And responsive he was.  
And to help all he wanted.  
The conceit shone  
In Sixth overall was similar  
Per person.  
Of this century.  
Cats Sixth loved  
And icons with them wore.  
Multicolored umbrella was  
And so it was very nice.  
Satellites and their loved.  
But it is Rani's head hurt  
And he had no strength.  
And the Seventh Era has come.  
Cute gray man  
He in coat couture.  
In the hat,  
With Rani,  
With amnesia.  
Loves to play chess.  
Intricate man with a twinkle in his eye  
He cares for Mel.  
But the relationship waned.  
Death destroyed solutions.  
How did no one knows.  
In the hands of ACE he died  
Or in a in gunfights he was .  
Or he killed the Sixth,  
Injury doctor got  
And much forgotten.


	8. Regeneration Of Doctors 8 - 10

The Eighth Doctor  
The Victorian style.  
Memory lost,  
This famous.  
The little things he enjoys  
The miracle sees it.  
Kissed someone  
It means that was in love.  
Probably to his companion,  
Whispered to her — Love  
Life as in the series —  
Complicated, complicated...  
Memory is lost,  
Then again the war.  
Amnesia a lot.  
— Will it hurt? —  
The doctor said.  
But also this life.  
He loved.  
Poor War Doctor suddenly became  
And in War Times he fought.  
But this grandfather,  
Having lived 800 years.  
Said: — I am not Doctor Who!  
Took his coat  
And hat, and Panama.  
Became abnormal and the doctor.  
And after the Ninth he became.  
Won applauds as the capital.  
— Fantastic! — The ninth Doctor says  
He has a terrible look.  
Well, just like a bandit dressed,  
Make, bad boy, trouble.  
Inspires, encourages,  
A young Ninth doctor,  
Not like everyone else.  
He laughs, but tactful,  
Relatively practical.  
Have you got a screwdriver and paper  
Plus the SUPERFONE.  
Rose, Adam and Jack.  
Will not part with him forever.  
Melancholic, but cruel.  
Poor little Dalek.  
On his heels is the Evil Wolf  
In the Doctors he knows.  
The Time vortex sucked  
And from the floor rose a Tenth.  
— Alonso! - Tenth yells.  
And time on the TARDIS is speeding.  
Twelve companions he had.  
But only Rose, Jack, Donna and Martha  
We have not forgotten, and the other nice people.  
Make fans brains on a platter.  
Well even Sarah, but it was nothing.  
And without a Tenth does.  
Carefree, good-natured,  
Martha, Donna is very necessary.  
Bold, witty.  
But ruthless is,  
The mask he rips the enemies.  
Gracious, amorous, sweet.  
Rose fell in love with.  
Alone, endures.  
Wears brown suit.  
And also in the Cape and sneakers.  
Stalking the poor guy the trouble.  
Radiation absorbed  
And the Eleventh was.


	9. Regeneration Doctors 11 - 14

— Geronimo!  
The Eleventh Doctor  
The youngest.  
He's not running for food.  
Skinny, long.  
Amy, Rory, River Song,  
Clara made the whole brain.  
... Craig, who is he?  
It doesn't matter.  
The eleventh doctor bravely  
Clara agreed to take.  
The river did not forget to hug.  
And at the wedding to appear,  
Then to evaporate.  
Sly, good-natured  
And someone needs.  
But naive, good with children.  
Though a lot of trouble with them.  
Tie a bow tie and a FEZ,  
Been to the Doctor.  
But then the poor thing died  
And the era of the Twelfth came.  
Twelfth wears a dark blue coat  
And dark shirts.  
And scarves and ties for him.  
He is irritated beyond measure,  
And partially lost faith.  
Cruel and heartless.  
And the doctor is not eternal?  
Three satellites and a lot of nerves...

Thirteenth and later appeared  
Clara Oswald quietly married.

The fourteenth fell in love  
In River Song.  
But he was very cruel.


	10. Regeneration Doctors 14 -....

And after the Fifteenth in the TARDIS awake.  
He sat down and looked around.  
Looks — and he's eighteen years old,  
It's time to Kolobrodov, fall in love.  
And he flight. All found and fell in love.  
And Victoria later married.  
In a white shirt, jeans and sneakers  
Fifteenth long taxied to a victory.  
But quietly crept up to him trouble,  
Suddenly the Universe was out of food.  
And the Doctor decided to save everyone  
And once again the joy to find.  
Killed the poor thing, but managed to escape  
And in the Sixteenth turn.  
Sixteenth and ten years.  
And time poor to hang.  
To console it to not get it maybe  
Waiting for, who will help him.  
And River here, and Donna, Jack.  
But they have no success.  
Here's the TARDIS in the town.  
Sixteenth in the window it looks.  
There are pies, cakes, candies.  
But the money from Dr. no.  
Then his Master saw  
Candy in the handle quietly gave  
And dragged  
In the corner,  
In order to enjoy.  
But then suddenly appeared Distant.  
For him — Jack, River Song and Clara.  
This is a Merited reward.  
But the Sixteenth Master killed  
In a box shoved in with a stick and scored  
Seventeenth the Doctor's awfully young.  
In diapers he writes and loud shouts.  
And in the TARDIS kicking people.  
Who carries a diaper who — food.  
And Jack Dr. Mummy is looking for.  
Outside of time and space.  
And the ending of all these adventures.  
No more doctor.  
Only the sperm is on the outside.  
In a blue condom floating on the waves  
And looking for... mom.


	11. Start

Gallifrey was in the drizzle,  
The doctor Who was going to walk.  
The doctor thought  
And went to call the Master,

The master quickly out of bed slid  
And the civil suit he wore,  
And on the throne he quickly climbed,  
Dr. Master said softly:

— Oh, you my dear, precious,  
You don't go In the TARDIS to play  
I'm your father of Gallifrey,  
Have mercy on the mother of Gallifrey!

Doctor Who did not listen to the Master,  
FEZ, scarf and shoes on.  
Attached the celery he buttonhole  
And on the TARDIS, he flew away.

Left blue box,  
Poor Master pulls hair:  
— Oh, how foolish you are, Doctor!  
Cheek suddenly a tear rolled.

Doctor Who travels a lot,  
Many satellites it picked;  
Master search for all tried,  
Remaining always out of work.


	12. Suicide booth

The doctor sat on the porch of the house and in the yard of this house stood the TARDIS.

It was the Tenth Doctor. And he was sitting on the porch is just so, he waited. He waited for his companion Martha. She went to the store and still not returned  
— "Apparently stuck on sale," - thought the Doctor and decided to walk down the street.

It was a typical shady street. And houses were the most common. The doctor went outside and walked.  
Goes like this, rejoices.  
It only bothered one, why it was so quiet no children laughing, no dogs barking. So much so that he became concerned that he decided to check. Passed Tenth to one home, pulled the handle... the door opened quietly and silently.  
— Is there anyone home? — cried the Doctor.  
Silence in response. Only the dust dances in the rays of the sun.  
The Doctor checked all the houses. There is no one. Empty street. And the wind is not blowing and the dust calmed down.  
Silence.  
Ringing.  
Scared Doctor, decided to return to the booth. IN THE TARDIS.  
But lost his faithful TARDIS.  
The Doctor walked around the whole street. There is no TARDIS.

— Damn! — The doctor stopped in the street. He didn't understand. It seemed that he was caught in a time loop, but who could have done?  
The conclusion arose by itself. These were the machinations of the Master.  
— Where are you?! — cried the Doctor.  
But the cry died down, shutdown in the ringing silence of the street.  
\- I know you're somewhere here!!! — cried the Doctor.  
And there was the TARDIS. But not blue and red, decorated with pink hearts and red balloons. And opened the TARDIS. And dragged the doctor inside.

Inside the TARDIS was floating red clouds of tulle, silk and velvet, and the console... And that console-it was not. Instead she stood tall round red bed and on it... there was a woman in red stockings and a red corset.  
— Master, is that you? — asked the Doctor.  
— I! — whip whistled, turned around neck and ... the Tenth Doctor went straight to the Master.  
— Oh! Holy Dalek! — Missy groaned and dug into the lips of the doctor.  
He tried to fight back. But the attempt failed.  
Missy was bitten by the Doctor for the language section and quickly tied him to the bed.  
— What do you want? — cried the Doctor.  
— I want you! — Flirty smiled at Missy, - you know who I am?  
— Yes...  
— Fine, let's go, - Missy whistled, and from the depths of the TARDIS appeared Dalek. He was wearing a maid uniform. He slowly drove to the Doctor helpless naked and stroking a lean body Doctor cold manipulators.  
— FUCK!!!!! — yelled the Doctor, - cold!!!  
— Be patient! — Missy purred, patting the Doctor on the chest with the tip of a manicured finger.  
— Why me?  
— I thought and thought how to spoil you, — smiled at Missy, - and decided it was better I love you happy Valentine's day congratulations... You lose your head, I'll kill you...  
— I'm regenerating...  
— And I something something... Okay, so Dalek have failed, will call the others, - and Missy smiled again.

The next surprise was extremely fluffy.  
The Yeti himself.  
A huge hairy, he squeezed the Tenth in the strong arms and began to lick him everywhere with his rough tongue.  
The doctor wriggled and squealed, but the Yeti didn't stop his activities. His tongue slowly roamed his now hard body of the Tenth, and his hairy legs tightly hugging.  
The doctor relaxed. He didn't get raped, although the language of this huge living of the rug already slipped between the gluteal muscles.

Missy watched this action glowing eyes.  
By that time, when the Yeti get drunk his fill, the Doctor was covered in saliva and a relaxed state.  
— You like that? - Missy snapped her fingers, hit the top cold jets of water, washing the saliva from Dr. Yeti.  
\- Yeah, - sighed the Doctor.  
\- Yes, - Missy whistled, and appeared cyberman. But he wasn't alone... he was the Face of Bo.  
The face of Bo laid on the bed, the Doctor, and the Doctor leaned Cybermen.

The doctor yelled. He yelled for a very long time. The face of Bo was sucking him off, and Cybermen fucked him in the ass. And hell he was iron, though, and cybernetic. And only then, when the doctor finally passed out, Missy took pity on him. Cybermen and the Face of Bo have been removed, and an unconscious Doctor was carefully placed on the street. Missy lovingly wrapped it in pink ribbons, pasted red hearts, and then dropped him on the TARDIS.  
And then again.  
And yet.  
And yet.  
And until then, until the Tenth does not become a mess of blood and bones. After that, he returned to the TARDIS.  
— I killed you! — laughed Missy, - but if you think it's over, you're wrong. I'm going to finish his revenge, - and she lashed out at the mutilated body.

Missy kissed the Doctor, licking the protruding bone, sucking on the torn flesh, biting rags of skin and caressed, fondled... into a frenzy, to the point of exhaustion...

Victorian witch, wildly galloping on a bloody body from developing hair, screaming from the ecstasy and... most importantly... regeneration...

LIGHT!

ECSTASY!

... 

The light went out.

— Who are you? - asked type, sitting on the floor.  
— Who are you? - asked the second.  
They were both naked.  
But they didn't know who they are.  
Didn't know, but with interest on each other looked.


	13. In the rhythm

Doctor

 

Hey folks  
Grab yourself a partner  
And get out of here.  
We'll dance together

 

Master

 

Hey, Hey

 

Doctor

 

It's just me

 

Master

 

And I

 

Dr.

 

Yes

 

Master

 

Come on. Hey, Doctor!

 

Doctor

 

Are you ready?

 

Master

 

Yes... And you?

 

Doctor and Master

 

No one should worry

 

Doctor

 

I came here to dance.  
I came to her man.

 

Doctor and Master

 

Fuck all

 

Doctor

 

I'm burning with desire

 

Doctor and Master

 

Around us no one

 

Doctor

 

I'm not here alone.  
I'm with the man of my dreams

 

Doctor and Master

 

Tonight the two of us together.

Doctor

 

This is the music of our hearts  
Yeah, yeah, yeah  
This is our dance.  
The dance of our bodies  
Come on. Come on get my rhythm  
My hips move to the beat  
Your rhythm, come on, come on.  
After a moment, I'll be yours.

 

Master and Doctor

 

Everybody's doing it.

 

Doctor

 

Through which we must pass,  
That it to understand.

 

Master

 

Show me your love  
Come here,  
Catch my rhythm.

Doctor

 

Come on, baby come on  
Show me how you're hot!

 

Master and Doctor

 

If we want more

 

Doctor

 

We will achieve this.

 

Master and Doctor

 

We unite in the rhythm of our bodies

 

Doctor

 

In the rhythm of our desires

 

Master

 

In the rhythm of our love.

Master and Doctor

 

Come on come here,  
It's our little duel.  
Just me and you babe.  
Our love is music  
Our love is the rhythm.

 

Doctor

 

I'm very hot  
And the sweat runs off me.

 

Master and Doctor

 

Our souls are naked

 

Doctor

 

My hips move to the beat

 

Master

 

Feel the heat

 

Doctor

 

It runs through my veins, it starts in the groin.

 

Master and Doctor

 

If we want more

 

Doctor

 

We will achieve this.

 

Master and Doctor

 

We unite in the rhythm of our bodies

 

Doctor

 

In the rhythm of our desires

 

Master

 

In the rhythm of our love.

 

Master and Doctor

 

Come on come here,  
It's our little duel.  
Just me and you babe.  
Our love is music  
Our love is the rhythm.

 

Master

 

Come to me, Nestle me,  
Lose control.  
Bare your soul,  
Let her get a lap dance  
On my pole.  
Work your body  
And let it begin.

 

Doctor

 

The night away I'm only yours.

 

Master

 

Hey, Doctor, do you want to lose control?  
Come here, I'll show you a real man.  
I want to see your naked soul  
Dancing strip tease on my pole passion.  
If you think you're hot, show me this  
Hey, Doctor, lose control!  
I want to see your body!  
Undress, The Doctor! I want your body!

 

Master and Doctor

 

If we want more

 

Doctor

 

We will achieve this.

 

Master and Doctor

 

We unite in the rhythm of our bodies

 

Doctor

 

In the rhythm of our desires

 

Master

 

In the rhythm of our love.

 

Master and Doctor

 

Come on come here,  
It's our little duel.  
Just me and you babe.  
Our love is music  
Our love is the rhythm.

 

Master

 

Come to me, Nestle me,  
Lose control.  
Bare your soul,  
Let her get a lap dance  
On my pole.  
Work your body  
And let it begin.


	14. The TARDIS

Do not go, children,  
In the TARDIS you walk.  
In the TARDIS there's grandma,  
Dracula — mouse  
A lot of geezers  
Cybermen  
Cute Scots,  
Many different aunties...  
And shaggy Yeti  
Exactly lives there.  
And Daleks I go  
And in all shooting...

Do not go, children  
In the TARDIS you walk.  
And all these uncles,  
And all these aunts  
Will scare you,  
Hit, or hurt...  
The pineapple hungry  
Can be lives.  
Roll-the bee flies,  
Ducks - quack, Quack, quack!  
Many fans of doctor who,  
Chases white alcohol.

Do not go children  
In the TARDIS you walk!  
Davros — ballerina,  
Duck — the foreman,  
Protein — slut,  
Many fans of doctor who.  
Everything you start fighting,  
Slash to read will give


	15. Rose

Time does not flow backwards  
And you, maybe, love me,  
But I can't stay with you.  
Forgive and forget  
Rose

I hold my hands in the pockets  
And not looking in your direction,  
I hide my feelings  
In my blue box.

You know,Rose, Rose, Rose

Come on, honey Rose  
Let go of me.  
I want to go.

I'm about to break  
My time is running out,  
I can't stay with you,  
Calling me Master.

You know, Rose, that I love.  
The flame of love burning,  
I have so much to lose  
I myself have to solve.

You don't call me  
To yourself, Rose.  
I'm not your,  
Dear Donna,  
Don't kiss me.  
My Martha.  
I'm not your.

Rose, Rose, Rose


	16. Mini epic

A long time in the desert was a white-haired old man  
In a black coat, with a white Panama,  
Neck he was closed a very long scarf.

Wandered through the desert for days so he four.  
And ahead of his drove problems.  
Somewhere lost in the Sands of the blue box.

There were two poor —  
Sweet girl in white dress  
And the guy in the plaid skirt.

Could man their booth  
To call, but alas... Sound  
He is also a screwdriver in the booth left.

Thirst tormented him constantly,  
There is creepy like... legs  
Struggled back, man

Crawled to the oasis. Four palm trees  
And the bright lake water. Only  
He pressed his lips to the cool moisture.

He suddenly seemed Dalek  
And Davros... Exterminate! —  
Then they shouted, pointing their guns

On a poor old man. But then  
In the oasis booth suddenly appeared.  
Stood up and the doors she opened.

Quickly ran into her old gray-haired man.  
He hugged his help lost and moved  
His fist on the console; the door closed.

Blue box disappeared from sight.  
Dalek stupidly crowded,  
And Davros with the nose left.


	17. The dictator

Fans Of Doctor Who  
Please  
Get ready  
To the Salamander and the Doctor.  
Forward!

Let me tell you a story  
About Ramon Salamander.  
Salamanders was a dictator,  
He wanted to take over Earth!  
He wanted to hide in the TARDIS!  
But the hell with it because I —  
Doctor Who!

I'm Doctor Who!  
I'm Doctor Who!

Salamander tried to impersonate the Doctor.  
Because I was like him.  
But Jamie opened it.  
Tink-tink-tink-trinket!  
And kicked out of the TARDIS  
Right into the vortex...  
But the hell with it because I —  
Doctor Who!

I'm Doctor Who!  
I'm Doctor Who!

Fans Of Doctor Who  
Please  
Get ready  
To the Salamander and the Doctor.  
Forward!

There!

I'm Doctor Who!  
I, I, I and only I....

I'm Doctor Who!  
I'm Doctor Who!


	18. Sixth Doctor

These sweet dreams are created only for this purpose.  
Who am I to not subscribe?  
I travel through time and space.  
And searching for something.

All want to use me.  
Everyone wants to see me in various forms,  
Some want me to used them  
But I don't want...  
I don't want to be used.  
And I don't want to use  
But each time I do it.

I want to use all  
I want to abuse your trust,  
I want to know what's inside you.  
So I'll move forward  
Will not hang your nose and just move forward.  
Will not hang your nose and just move forward  
Will not hang your nose and just move forward

These sweet dreams are created only for this purpose.  
Who am I to not subscribe?  
I travel through time and space.  
And searching for something.

All want to use me.  
Everyone wants to see me in various forms,  
Some want me to used them  
But I don't want...  
I don't want to be used.  
And I don't want to use  
But each time I do it.

I want to use all  
I want to abuse your trust,  
I want to know what's inside you.  
So I'll move forward  
Will not hang your nose and just move forward.  
Will not hang your nose and just move forward  
Will not hang your nose and just move forward

I recognize that you have within.


	19. Sam

I didn't want to change,  
But I had to.  
My quiet life  
Suddenly came to an end.  
And I don't have time to understand it.  
I had more time  
Hanging with friends  
To sit with a friend —  
Albert and I  
And to drink beer.  
Of time I look at my life  
What is the meaning of all this?  
I miss those days,  
When I not changed!  
Albert and I!

Where am I now?  
Faces and fates flashed  
As in a kaleidoscope.  
I change and change someone's life.  
I'm changing someone's fate.  
Who am I now?  
I don't know.  
If this is heaven, it is very strange  
If this is hell, then where is the exit?

Life is an adventure.  
For me and for Alberta.  
Just listen to it  
And find the answer.  
Life is an adventure.  
For me and for Alberta.  
Listen —  
And it will set you free!

Those days where I was happy!  
The days when I was free!  
As they slip away from me.  
Albert helped me to understand my work.  
Albert cares about me... even now.  
I don't want to go far.  
I want to go back to the other.

My quiet life  
Suddenly came to an end.  
And I don't have time to understand it.  
I had more time  
Hanging with friends  
To sit with a friend —  
Albert and I  
Life is an adventure.  
For me and for Alberta.  
Just listen to it  
And find the answer.  
Life is an adventure.  
For me and for Alberta.  
Listen —  
And it will set you free!

I may have met God.  
God is a set of quanta.  
And now my path is someone's destiny.  
All the sins I left.  
Maybe I quantum angel  
But my wings are falling apart.

My quiet life  
Suddenly came to an end.  
And I don't have time to understand it.  
I had more time  
Hanging with friends  
To sit with a friend —  
Albert and I  
Life is an adventure.  
For me and for Alberta.  
Just listen to it  
And find the answer.  
Life is an adventure.  
For me and for Alberta.  
Listen —  
And it will set you free!


	20. Drabbles about randomguy evil

— Dale wants jam, - said Dalek -ballerina.  
\- And jam no, — replied the strange red haired type.  
— And where did the jam? - Dalek offended — bread-bees ceased to give it.  
\- Evil juicy little mango was eaten by all bees, ate ducks...  
— And what now?  
\- Now we will see what happens with Pineapple...  
— What will happen to him?  
— And I have no idea.

***

 

In the next room was Murmur.  
Moriarty, Moran, Mycroft, and Moffat played cards on an undressing. And they played not for themselves but for Sherlock, John, Irene and Martha.  
Moriarty mercilessly cheated, so Irene was still dressed. John remained in jeans, in underwear, and Sherlock was sitting in the Nude and terribly shy.  
Everything was fine, but on a naked Sherlock threw all not sympathetic glances, and in his hand even the bed sheets was not.  
— Guys, let then play for possession? — said Moffat, laying out a Royal flush.  
— The possession of what? - asked Moriarty.  
— Not what, but who... — corrected Moffat.  
— And whom?  
— Sherlock. Isn't his a quarter of fans want to drag in bed or to imagine how it rapes half the characters in the series?  
— Good idea — approved Mycroft.  
Sherlock didn't ask.

***

 

In the kitchen drinking Doctor. Drank moonshine, purchased from Martha Hudson. Remembered the days and politely, in English, swearing.  
However, they were swearing not to brew, and the Boy — Who — All — got — And — With — Broom — In — Butt...  
Aforementioned friend was engaged in sweeping on the street asphalt of its improved "Lightning" and hoarsely sang the song:  
Blue moon's to blame,  
So the County said,  
And Moffat this  
Never forgave.  
Columbus and welded  
Moonshine in the moonlight,  
And that song come  
The Moffat in his sleep.

***

 

— Juicy little mango brought...  
— Dale get their jam?  
— Of course, because of the Pineapple jam was a close one. Eat and enjoy. It's Pineapple...


	21. Dancing Bumble-bees

History in bumblebees  
Shades of their furry bodies.  
You Wake up in the morning  
And start a new day  
Looking out the window.  
And there are dancing bumblebees.  
You eat with jam and hit the road.

You've been places,  
In all ages  
And in a different time.  
And the TARDIS doesn't always  
Properly paved the way.  
You know the beauty of satellites,  
And turned to the young themselves.  
You had different faces.  
But those memories  
Will always be with you.

You expressed these persons,  
As part of one's personality.  
Whose face you would not wear  
You've always remained true to himself.  
Yes — it's you.  
And that's you too,  
And this too you.  
You  
You  
You

This is a shirt with ruffles  
And velvet jacket.  
It is a long scarf  
And gummi bears.  
This is a branch of celery  
And ball cricket.  
This is a brilliant costume  
And the icon with the cat.  
This is chess  
And the Scottish accent.  
This is steampunk  
And confused life.  
But bumblebees  
And bumblebees  
Only furry bumblebees

And this is just more important  
The TARDIS and the companions of yours.  
You can never go astray.  
You sealed it all themselves,  
Only you will be able  
Collect all  
And lead  
In a distant way.

And you will always be with me  
And let everyone dream about you  
We all love you  
And our memory will not die.

You expressed these persons,  
As part of one's personality.  
Whose face you would not wear  
You've always remained true to himself.  
Yes — it's you.  
And that's you too,  
And this too you.  
You  
You  
You

This is a shirt with ruffles  
And velvet jacket.  
It is a long scarf  
And gummi bears.  
This is a branch of celery  
And ball cricket.  
This is a brilliant costume  
And the icon with the cat.  
This is chess  
And the Scottish accent.  
This is steampunk  
And confused life.  
But bumblebees  
And bumblebees  
Only furry bumblebees


	22. Jack and Ianto

You came to Torchwood,  
But your thoughts were far away,  
I could not understand,  
If you were right.

At night you tell me  
What's bothering you.  
And leaning toward me,  
You silently whisper  
My name.

I know you don't understand me,  
What I am so far from you all,  
But try to understand me,  
I'm trying to stay with you.

The darkness in my soul, soul,  
The darkness in my soul, soul,  
I went out in the rain, leaving you sleeping  
And stood under the cold drops,  
To dispel the darkness.

You're mad at me,  
Because you don't understand.  
You stubbornly think,  
I'm a heartless guy!  
But try to understand me,  
I want to be with you.

The darkness in my soul, soul,  
The darkness in my soul, soul,  
I went out in the rain, leaving you sleeping  
And stood under the cold drops,  
To dispel the darkness.

The darkness  
The darkness  
The darkness


	23. Dr. Strange

It's a big world,  
And I'm a small man  
In this big world.  
I understand that there are those little things,  
They do not want to forget.  
But I feel that I need.  
Really need  
Very.

Past me the leaves are falling,  
I was in the center of the leaf;  
I'm very cold. I lost everything  
Family, work and their own hands.

It's a big world,  
And I'm a small man  
In this big world.  
I understand that there are those little things,  
They do not want to forget.  
But I feel that I need.  
Really need  
Very.

I look at rain drops  
And my soul cries about the deceased.  
Why did this happen?  
Why did this happen to me?

It's a big world,  
And I'm a small man  
In this big world.  
I understand that there are those little things,  
They do not want to forget.  
But I feel that I need.  
Really need  
Very.

I try to imagine  
What would happen if you died?  
I feel your hot hands,  
But I open my eyes... you are gone.

It's a big world,  
And I'm a small man  
In this big world.  
I understand that there are those little things,  
They do not want to forget.  
But I feel that I need.  
Really need  
Very.


	24. Owen and Toshiko

You open your eyes,  
And I am hiding behind a mask.  
Your eyes are open,  
And I can't open.

Around us is flowing cold.  
I came here in vain.  
Wait till night.  
I promise there will be no shame

I always want to be with you.  
I want to trust you.  
And I want to live in harmony  
With you,  
My love!  
And with himself.  
I want to live in harmony  
With you,  
My love!

I want to protect you  
From this dirty world  
From frosty relations,  
The opinions of others.

Around the two of us — cold rain.  
I came here in vain.  
Wait till night.  
I promise there will be no shame

I always want to be with you.  
I want to trust you.  
And I want to live in harmony  
With you,  
My love!  
And with himself.  
I want to live in harmony  
With you,  
My love!


	25. Torchwood

I'm standing in his office,  
Standing, not including the light.  
Look at the room below  
And drink hot coffee.

Mug full, I drink in small SIPS.  
Look down and see  
Came Ianto. He can't see me  
And starts to clean up.

I'm happy to see him. He's so calm.  
But recently he lost his woman.  
But I love it. He calmly collects  
Garbage. He doesn't know I'm watching.  
Ianto is so calm; his lips  
Appears timid smile, when he looks  
In my direction.

I drink my coffee  
And see the arrival of Toshiko.  
She is impassive and focused.  
She starts to work with the computer.

I see, how comes Owen.  
He is dishevelled and angry  
I don't know what happened to him.  
I feel someone's gaze.

It came to Gwen.  
She looks into the dark glass of my office.  
And smiles, then says something Toshiko  
She sees me?  
I don't think.  
The glass is dark, and I can't see.

I notice everything that is happening.  
As my team begins to work  
As Ianto goes up.  
Grumbles as Owen and Gwen laughs.

I remember one night.  
When you told me  
Any cute trivia.  
I hope this won't end well...

I believe in my team,  
I love my team,  
I want to stay with you guys...

Coffee ran out. It is a new day  
Time to get ready for work.


	26. Gwen

You gave me a lot, you gave me another life.  
And you don't even know that I love you.  
I can give you everything, including life.  
But you don't lie to me, you just walk away.

 

I saw you in the arms of Ianto.  
I was shocked seeing this.  
I knew you were different.  
But had no idea how.

 

I have to stop,  
While my soul is fine.  
I have to stop  
And collect to your heart.  
Just stop.

 

I'm not going to leave,  
I'll never forget the expression you used,  
When I kissed you.  
My soul is torn to pieces,  
When you're in trouble.

 

I have to stop,  
While my soul is fine.  
I have to stop  
And collect to your heart.  
Just stop.

 

I have to stop  
(I love Rice...)   
It is time to understand  
(what I want...)   
But I don't want to leave you.

 

I have to stop,  
While my soul is fine.  
I have to stop  
And collect to your heart.  
Just stop.


	27. John Watson

I was in the war,  
Was quite satisfied,  
But explosions, gunfire and death  
I see in my dreams,  
As soon as I close my eyes.  
Every time  
Every night.

I had to leave  
But civilians along the way.  
I was alone, and I can't help.  
An old friend, look.  
I don't need  
And not important.

But fate brought us together,  
And she was right.  
Damn it, how could it be?  
Even though I barely knew you.  
You were lonely,  
As an old sock.

A bore you were  
In the dust of vanished dreams.  
But with you I'm having fun.  
Though the relationship is complicated.  
Adrenaline,  
And you're not alone.

And I thee sick,  
The fate of the unhappy.  
When you left, and then returned.  
You are free to dispose of.  
Life and death...  
You can't die.


	28. Just a good day

Oh, it's a good day!  
It's just a wonderful day  
And I go around singing this song  
From morning to evening.  
Just a beautiful day.

It's a good day  
To watch "Doctor Who",  
It's a good day to watch "x-files"  
This is a great day to sing this song

I said — Hey, my sun.  
I said Hello, my furry solar bumblebee.  
Bumblebee fly directly into the sun  
And become the sun for all of us.

It's just a wonderful day.  
To view "Quantum leap",  
This Sunny day to watch  
"Dr. House".  
It's just a wonderful day for  
To sing this song

Let's throw our tablets,  
Let's throw all the bottles  
Let's just clean up the apartment,  
Invite friends and view...  
View "Doctor Who"

It's a good day  
To watch "Dr. Strange",  
It's a good day to watch "Psi Factor"  
This is a great day to sing this song.

Let's all have some fun together,  
Let's hug it out, no matter where we were,  
Let's wish everyone and myself a Sunny morning.  
And let the dawn greet us along with fluffy bumblebees.

It's a good day  
To watch "Doctor Who",  
It's a good day to watch "x-files"  
This is a great day to sing this song


	29. Doctor Who

Who? Yes, Yes, Yes! Who?  
Who? Yes, Yes, Yes! Who?  
Who? Yes, Yes, Yes! Who?  
Who? Yes, Yes, Yes! Who?

I have no idea  
What's going on inside of me,  
I can't stop it.  
What happens to me?

I repletus atoms  
And again going.  
I disappear  
And re-appear.

I'm in love with this life,  
I know she loves mine.  
All my adventures  
The taste of marmalade.

I repletus atoms  
And again going.  
I disappear  
And re-appear.

The taste of my adventures  
Similar to bitter chocolate.  
I thirst to meet new people  
And no matter where I put

I repletus atoms  
And again going.  
I disappear  
And re-appear.

I'm hooked on it.  
It's my drug.  
I want to merge with the TARDIS  
But I can't

I repletus atoms  
And again going.  
I disappear  
And re-appear.

I'm hooked on this sense of danger,  
I'm in love with these adventures.  
What's going on with me  
I don't know!

I repletus atoms  
And again going.  
I disappear  
And re-appear.


	30. Gwen and Rice

I know all about the pain,  
I know how it hurts,  
When you can not do anything!  
I know you are suffering.  
I know when you want to touch me.  
I know this pain,  
But trust me, no one was dead because they wanted more.

I'm a little you.  
You are my whole world.  
You are beautiful and your feelings give birth to love,  
But I'm a little you.  
Me a little of your feelings  
Your love and your body.  
I want to break this comfortable world and explode in you.

I don't know those people, who like me,  
Who are trying to survive.  
They are looking for the meaning of life,  
But can not find it.  
It makes no sense, but you can feel it.  
I know when to touch you lips,  
And I know that slowly kill you.  
But if I can't have you,  
Will not be of this world,  
There is no sense to live...

I'm a little you.  
You are my whole world.  
You are beautiful and your feelings give birth to love,  
But I'm a little you.  
Me a little of your feelings  
Your love and your body.  
I want to break this comfortable world and explode in you.

I... I can smell your fear  
I... I can feel your love  
I... I feel your readiness  
I.... I can feel your love

I'm a little you.  
You are my whole world.  
You are beautiful and your feelings give birth to love,  
But I'm a little you.  
Me a little of your feelings  
Your love and your body.  
I want to break this comfortable world and explode in you.

Nobody is perfect in this world


	31. Jack Harkness

Happened to me many times  
When I only smeared the dirt,  
In an attempt to stand, but stood up.  
And between the time it was wound  
With anyone for a long time.  
And don't always know about it.

I don't know where I would find myself working,  
I don't know where fate would find me,  
I don't know how it happened,  
Why my life changed?  
Who helped me  
To step over the threshold of immortality?

Where I want to take a risk  
No one can know!

I used to live? And what was breathing?  
Your loved one? I dreamed of?  
I don't remember that life after I met you,  
But I run the same path.  
How do I live, not to lose?  
Who can know it?

Flickers in the distance the blue silhouette  
I know it's time Hello.  
When I feel that someone here  
I have to leave everything as is  
And with him disappear in a flash of light,  
My soul is warmed by its warmth.

Where I want to take a risk  
No one can know!

I used to live? And what was breathing?  
Your loved one? I dreamed of?  
I don't remember that life after I met you,  
But I run the same path.  
How do I live, not to lose?  
Who can know it?

The severed arm...

I used to live? And what was breathing?  
Your loved one? I dreamed of?  
I don't remember that life after I met you,  
But I run the same path.  
How do I live, not to lose?  
Who can know it?

I used to live? And what was breathing?  
Your loved one? I dreamed of?  
I don't remember that life after I met you,  
But I run the same path.  
How do I live, not to lose?  
Who can know it?


	32. Bad wolf

It's an evil wolf. He walks towards me.  
And even if I'm in outer space,  
He will find me.  
Every time he changes his appearance,  
And I don't know who it will be next time?

You always come to me,  
You're always with that one person,  
You're helping me.  
And I know who you are,  
Your name in my brain  
Rose, Rose,  
Rose, Rose.

You're watching me from a parallel reality,  
You come for help,  
I see your face in the vortex.  
And for him — you smile.

You always come to me,  
You're always with that one person,  
You're helping me.  
And I know who you are,  
Your name in my brain  
Rose, Rose,  
Rose, Rose.

If I disappear, what will remain after me?  
My friends, my enemies...  
My problems is in your hands.  
The universe for the universe,  
From age to age!  
I bet on that  
What you get back!

I don't know who I love,  
I'm torn between all,  
I can't give up everything  
Your name in my brain.  
I feel your hand,  
I'm touching it.  
This is all the evil wolf. He walks towards me.  
And even if I'm in outer space,  
He will find me.

You always come to me,  
You're always with that one person,  
You're helping me.  
And I know who you are,  
Your name in my brain  
Rose, Rose,  
Rose, Rose.


	33. Sleep Ianto

— I fucking love you, very much.  
I love you very much.  
— I hate you!  
\- My dear!  
— Are you going to do anything?  
— I move between your buttocks,  
Back and forth.  
I move between your buttocks.  
But I'm still holding back.

\- My dear Ianto! I love you!  
I love you a lot!  
— I just hate you!  
— My good, Ianto!  
— Get away from me!  
\- You're moving under my hands,  
You move between my thighs,  
You so smoothly move back and forth,  
And I adapt to your stride.

— My favorite person! I love you so much.  
Very, very much!  
— I want you dead!  
— Oh, my handsome man!  
— Get away from me!  
— This love is sweet torture.  
I move back and forth  
Between your buttocks.  
I move back and forth,  
And I have to hold back.  
— No! Not now, Jack!  
Come on, Jack, come on!!!


	34. A fan of Dr. Malakhova

I love fresh cucumber with raw egg,  
In the ass it shove a blunt end;  
So I'm treating your hemorrhoids...  
Dancing Lambada I want!

 

Get your buns moving!  
Get your buns moving!  
Back and forth!  
Back and forth  
Dr. Malakhov you will understand.

And I love how the urine,  
On the stove it will be evaporated;  
And the nightcap will not forget...  
Lambada dance I will!

 

Get your buns moving!  
Get your buns moving!  
Back and forth!  
Back and forth  
Dr. Malakhov you will understand.

In winter there is no fresh cucumbers,  
I shoved the icicle with a blunt end;  
And this cold ice  
Chase away my hemorrhoids!

 

Get your buns moving!  
Get your buns moving!  
Back and forth!  
Back and forth  
Dr. Malakhov you will understand.


	35. We have all of Torchwood

Buddy, you were a doctor,  
You were covered in dirt,  
But you couldn't save  
His girlfriend from the monster.  
When you realize that it's not you  
Come back to us!

We can help you!  
We can help you!

Buddy, why are you following me?  
Like a drunk, like the plague?  
Aren't you tired of stalking me?  
If you want to work with us.  
Come to us, and we know who you are!

We can help you!  
We can help you!

Dude, you work for us  
After I saved you!  
You decoder and a genius  
But love a lot of agony.  
Come to us, and we'll let you know!

We can help you!  
We can help you!

Dude, you're a former police officer  
And you have a bold nature.  
But you to work with us wanted  
And it was extremely brave.  
So come to us!

We can help you!  
We can help you!


	36. Clara and Revolutionary

In a large room that looked out onto the triumphant Prado, were two. A young, pretty woman in a black suit in printed Georgette and an old woman in a dark green dress and a giant Breton cap. They drank proper Indian tea from delicate cups set Chinese from the Ming Dynasty.

— Mrs. Blake, why did you invite me? — asked the young woman.  
— I wanted to remember his youth, - said old — you have such an interesting name, miss Pink. I have known one woman with that name. And now I will tell about his youth.

Once I was revolutionary,  
And youth in prison I was,  
And after I escaped and the ship was found,  
And a strong team myself I scored.

Oh, dear, dear Avon. How handsome he was!  
I did not spared and spared no effort,  
I got one once  
Was so amazing with him my connection.

Ah, Vila. Delicate Vila. He had a nice steal,  
Where did this Vila then disappeared?  
ORAC was so naive he did not know much,  
His Zen hurt, and he panicked.

What were the people! What was the life!  
But we all got old and quietly dispersed.  
Now I live in Havana and Clara and tea I drink  
On Ulanova I with grief salipl.

 

— You are such a cool lady! — enthusiastically shouted Clara, - you must be punished. What do you prefer the whip or the cane?


	37. Jack and the Doctor

Turn yourself down my heart  
And mind just go to sleep.  
I'll miss you and count the days.  
Swim in the waves,  
At the sky to look  
To the flight the last time.  
The wind drives the waves...  
My dreams will be buried.

I had a dream yesterday,  
I heard our voices.  
I saw that you're upset  
And this life unhappy.  
Your TARDIS sweet sound,  
And I felt fear.

You will be able to walk with me,  
You can ever be...  
And where the Golden moon is hanging,  
You will be able to give me this life.  
I'm waiting for you to take with you  
Where is dancing on the rocks the surf.

I had a dream yesterday,  
I heard our voices.  
I saw that you're upset  
And this life unhappy.  
Your TARDIS sweet sound,  
And I felt fear.

Come back for me, I'm really looking forward to.  
You as a friend will help.  
You will go on a long journey,  
Which I have not to collapse.  
I will see you more than once,  
And in this life, without embellishment,  
Only you and the TARDIS!

I had a dream yesterday,  
I heard our voices.  
I saw that you're upset  
And this life unhappy.  
Your TARDIS sweet sound,  
And I felt fear.


	38. The case 84. Mysterious rifts in Baker street 221b.

— Connor, - said Lindsay Donner, passing through the corridor and turning to the tall dark-haired young man sitting behind the computer, - called Frank and said we have work to do.  
— Where?  
— In London.  
\- Interesting, - Connor looked up from the monitor screen, — call Peter, Anton and Cooper.  
\- Okay, - Lindsay shook her blond hair.

Three days later.

White van O. S. I. R stopped on Baker street near the house 221b. From it emerged a senior analyst Lindsay Donner in a white pantsuit, Dr. Connor Doyle in a gray suit, physicist Peter axon is a young man with short black hair in a black jacket and white shirt. Cryptozoologist Lennox Cooper is a little man in his fifties with balding head and glasses, a waistcoat with lots of pockets and dark trousers and Dr. Anton Hendricks — a man sixty years old with white hair and a small white beard in an elegant brown suit three.  
— So, according to our data, in this house recorded paranormal phenomena? - said Dr. Doyle.  
\- Yes.  
— Let's go to it, but here in the house, - the door opened, and the street popped up an elderly woman in dark clothes.  
— Who are you? - asked Professor Doyle.  
— My name is Martha Hudson, - she replied, - I am the owner of this house. - And who are you?  
\- You have some faults... — Connor  
— So you're about fault! — happy Martha, — come with me — show.  
— Peter, come with me, - called Connor, — Lindsay, start a survey of the street. — Then took on the arm of Martha, - show me your faults.

The fault was in three places. One took place right in the hall on the wall. He looked like just an ordinary crack, but it is a continuous stream flowed a strange creature. Variegated yellow duck, with a mustache, in caps, with antennas on their heads. Most of them quacked, but some made scary inarticulate sounds. Then across the hallway flew strange creatures, similar to loaves of bread and rosy cheeks. These strange creatures buzzed and showed an incredible amount of warm, thick and sticky jam. There ran a strange toothy pineapples and many more...  
— This is a job for Cooper, — said Peter, deftly uvernuvshis from the teeth of a small pineapple.  
\- Yes, - Connor pulled Peter up.

In the upper room there were two more of the fault. One in the wall — he ran periodically strange people in Lacy shirts, red fezzes., with long striped scarves, and a strange old woman with brooms and mops. They all did a lap around the room and disappeared into the rift.

The second fault was on the floor next to the fireplace. He was about a meter and a half in length.  
— This fault was missing one of my boarders, — sadly said Martha, pointing to the glowing rift.  
— We will work on it — promised to Connor, - and you'll see our doctor... and could you live a while from their friends or acquaintances?  
— Go to Devonshire, - answered Martha.

And drip work.

Cooper went with nets and net. He has caught many otherworldly creatures that it simply had nowhere to go. Cooper quickly made a catalogue of all that he caught, and then enthusiastically shared with Peter and Connor.  
— You represent, — smiling, he said, holding the hands and stroking the huge yellow duck, like the cat, is the cat - duck, and I caught the bug-duck , duck foreman, she's so funny... the mother Duck is the superintendent of matter, and the duck — the foreman has a black mustache. And the superintendent — blond mustache and a helmet. And then there are different colorful flying Mustache,duck - cat vacuum cleaners and strange creatures, resembling Daleks from the old series, but somehow, in the pink packs. And different the pineapples are small and large, but toothy.

Lindsay interviewed all the neighbors. But it wouldn't work. She began to interview the people that ran out of a second fault, but they didn't notice her, busy with their important problems.  
Peter stuffed around the house equipment and recorded every change. So it helped to establish that from the third fault periodically appear tall, thin, dark-haired type always different in age, with a pipe, and then without it. He sits by the fireplace, drinking brandy, rum, cognac, tea, coffee... then goes away. Behind him runs a small people, when small, when low, when fat, sometimes lean, once this second was a woman Chinese. Once there were two dogs in suits, and the phenomenon girls.  
Connor spent monitoring the environment. But everything was normal. And Connor decided to use the robot.

The robot entered the house and headed into the first break, half an hour later he came out of the second fault and went to third to get out of the first. So it became clear that the faults are linked.  
When Peter looked shot, he was very surprised. All three of the fault confined to one place, but Exxon never seen this place, and thought that probably it exists in some parallel world. But told Connor.

— I think that they are harmless, - Connor looked at the report, - Peter — the more the rift in the corridor, closed yesterday pre-svergnuv, to the delight of Cooper, a bunch of bright yellow eggs, yellow kittens, and sprouting of pineapple.  
— The break is on the second floor were closed today, leaving the wall half a bucket, part of a MOP and a piece of cloth. — Said Lindsay.  
\- The third fault is still sparks, — said Peter, — I hope those who got him there before it closes.

The rift was closed early in the morning, leaving on the floor a young dark-haired guy with a shaggy dog's tail, huge gray eyes in a gray cloak and glasses. And second — a short man of Chinese appearance, with dog ears, with the scalpel in his teeth.

"Faults on Baker street was a unknown crack between the worlds and space. Monitoring of the space environment did not show anything unnatural. Due to the closure of the faults is not possible to study them in the future. All forms of the afterlife transmitted cryptozoological Department. Affected by the faults are directed to the closed clinic". Report of Professor Connor Doyle on 15 July 2014.


	39. The secret lair.

Dudley Dursley was sitting beside the computer and watched "Doctor Who". He looked at his grandfather, and big tears rolled down his cheeks.

Oh, dear grandfather!  
You were good,  
When played!  
I'm so proud of you!  
My dear grandfather!

 

In another room sat Jenny, sister Dudley, and played in the RPG "Who's afraid of doctor Who?" There, the Fifth Doctor was saved from the first four Doctors.

I'm a good doctor!  
Doctor Who!  
I'll be wearing a coat  
Scarf long,  
And pants  
In all  
Sides are equal!

 

In the kitchen sat the father and the husband of Jenny Barty Crouch Jr. They drank tea and watched TV. And there showed the following. A strange guy named Radagast the Brown opposed the construction of a super-mega-center! Big bosses were going to destroy some marvellous valley. Then came a certain Mr. Ollivander and said that a magic wand is no longer in demand.  
But then came into the kitchen Professor Flitwick climbed on a chair and began to eat the cookies. And the toilet screamed and cried Moaning Myrtle.  
Someone knocked on the door. It came to Rufus Scrimgeour, Argus Filch and Dumbledore. A little later came Narcissa Malfoy, Arthur Weasley and Barty Crouch senior. They all sat down at the table and began to eat Yorkshire pudding. Around them ran Dobby and begged for clothes. Outside the window, and then flew Madam Hooch on the MOP.

But then Jenny came friend Lily Evans-Potter. They went into the room and just started fooling around there so that the kitchen plaster from the ceiling fell down.

And then all of the little house gathered in one big noisy crowd and went to the haunts of Vice the real and the parallel of London.


	40. Come to me, my Doctor

Come to me, my Doctor,  
Buckets of catfish bring  
I'll buy dinner meat,  
iwashi.  
Coming soon to soma,  
I jam will bring  
We sit and eat  
Along with soma, sausage.

Better to be with the TARDIS than in prison  
Better to live in joy than in anger  
It is better to be loved than unnecessary...  
I know for myself.

Come to me, my Doctor.  
So suddenly, by chance,  
Bring you jam,  
Going to soma, the drink we tea.  
I will bring pineapples,  
And you duck something,  
There is no tea, drink the soma,  
Interrupted somehow

Better to be with the TARDIS than in prison  
Better to live in joy than in anger  
It is better to be loved than unnecessary...  
I know for myself.

I'll be waiting a very long time  
Doctor, cute, show,  
I told you that I want to get  
Only be a part of my life.  
You invite me to the TARDIS  
Yes, and next you stay.  
I do not need more,  
Only to find her something.

Better to be with the TARDIS than in prison  
Better to live in joy than in anger  
It is better to be loved than unnecessary...  
I know for myself.


	41. Opera

A big hall. In the middle of the table, cluttered with dishes. Comes a small man in an apron covered in blood.

 

People

 

I want you to meet the doctors.  
This is good Doctor Who,  
He stole Sherlock's coat.

a Doctor Who

This is Dr. Hannibal,  
It all in the tureen seen.

includes Hannibal Lecter

And this is doctor Watson, John,  
He medicine only in love.

includes John Watson

And it Malysheva, she  
Only diet in love.

included Malysheva

And it's Dr. Aybolit,  
He all at once saw.

included Aybolit

Now the action will take place  
And something definitely will happen.

 

Out.

 

Doctor Who  
touching her hair; hysterically

 

Can it be true am I to wander?  
I shouldn't be, a right to worry!  
I want to go back to yourself,  
But later... My friend is in trouble.  
And I rush of the wind faster  
I'm going to save Jamie...  
Rather.

 

Hannibal Lecter  
straightens his tie

 

I see the table is set,  
But who will invite  
I am on this lunch?  
Let me see.  
Beluga, sturgeon, zucchini,  
And grouse and ham,  
Don't see something I fault.  
Ah, here it is. Dessert  
Strawberries, cream...  
Oh, the language! And prunes.  
But where's the meat?  
Where's the meat?

 

John Watson  
sitting down at the table

 

I'm hungry like a thousand devils!  
Reach for food rather  
Let there is at least that  
But I sing.

 

Malysheva  
included; colorful dress

Only diet will help  
You intestine can worry  
Will be fun to fart  
Let me sit down.  
sits down next to Watson  
You meat is bad. Need cucumbers.

 

Watson

 

I eat.

 

Malysheva

 

And they don't actually eat,  
They sit on them.  
Take a fresh cucumber,  
Cut off the sharp end,  
And in the ass with the blunt end,  
And after you brush with egg,  
Raw. And after hemorrhoids — bye-bye.

Watson  
greening

 

Sorry!  
escapes.

 

Malysheva  
complacent.

 

When you're on the toilet  
You sit up straight,  
Feet up on the bench...  
Left.  
begins to eat  
Diet — nonsense and lot attendants  
With the suckers stupid.  
And I'm going to eat much.

 

Aybolit  
pressing to eyes scarf

 

They were all killed.  
All of the patients.  
Rabbit ate  
Chickens fried,  
From grouse pate.  
About a lot of troubles!!!  
crying

Hannibal  
sitting down beside Malysheva

 

Look at you and think about how  
What you would in a sauce of garlic,  
Under French red wine  
Well it went for brunch.

 

Malysheva

 

I don't get it!  
Are you talking about?

 

Hannibal  
grinning

 

Yes, all that,  
About the food.  
Eat, eat, and then  
I will show you the perfect diet.  
I'm sure you taste it will have.

 

Malysheva

 

Thank you,  
I have a question?

 

Hannibal

 

What?

 

Malysheva

 

During sex you fart?  
Shy? No, don't tell.  
But I can assure you  
That's all right.  
This is the norm.

 

Hannibal  
stunned

 

Hmm. So you...  
Oh no. It's all good,  
But  
I'll show you  
Relationship to farting  
Has not.

 

Malysheva

 

Well, finished I  
Come on.

 

Go

 

Includes Watson. Green.

 

Watson

 

Where did this beast?

 

Doctor Who  
sits and eats

 

Hannibal.

 

Watson

 

Well, thank God.  
Let's sit down  
And all eat.

 

Sit and start eating.


End file.
